Our generation is obsessed with games. Whether it’s Madden, Call of Duty, Pokemon, or even Candy Crush – you will hear one person talking about one game or another. Maybe it’s our desire to compete. Maybe it’s an everlasting thirst for success. And really, who doesn’t like winning? All I know is, I can’t stop hearing about the games people love to play. Some of them, I understand. There’s points and a method of winning. Others baffle me entirely. And then there’s some that I just think are entirely stupid. For example – the dating game.
I have never been one for the dating game. Then again, I might be oblivious to the rules. I have no idea how to flirt, usually – there are times when I’m being blatant and aggressive though, and there are also times where I flirt without knowing it. The latter is probably the worst thing ever, because it usually happens with straight boys and it’s really not them I’m disinterested in, it’s just their penis. But yeah, flirting is hard. I also have a hard time understanding whether someone is interested in me or not. It usually takes at least 3 other people’s opinions before I’m like “Oh, that was flirting! Okay!” I’m also really good at embarrassing myself in front of a girl I like, and once that happens, well…it’s really all downhill from there.
Sometimes, you get tangled up in that “you talk first” game. You know the one – you want to talk to this girl, but you want her to text you first, so you know that she’s into you. When you’re playing this game as a lesbian, you’re into some dangerous territory. She could be playing the same game on the other side of the phone line. Or, she could just be disinterested. It’s a really tough gamble, but someone has to take the plunge eventually. Or you’ll just stop talking all-together, because no one initiated conversation. That shit is entirely annoying. If you want to talk to me, fucking talk to me. If you don’t, then don’t! It’s too simple, really. I don’t understand why other people don’t work this way. It especially confuses me after someone else is the one who initiated things, and once I’ve come to my senses…she’s ignoring me. Like…what? Okay. Thank you for that whiplash.
Then, there’s that whole “playing hard to get” bullshit. What the hell is that? I understand the concept of wanting what you can’t have. Really, I do. But I’m almost 21 years old. I’m a grown woman, god damnit. I do not have the time to waste on you pretending you’re disinterested just to get in my pants. Literally, all you have to do is say “You can have me naked if you want” and I will gladly get you naked. What is so hard about that? Why is it so difficult for people to be straight forward? Am I the only one who has zero patience when it comes to this shit? I mean, really – if you’re trying to get down to business, and you’re pretty sure the other person wants it too, you should just go for it. There’s no sense in beating around the bush. That’s a waste of everyone’s time, and at this point in life, you shouldn’t be doing that. You should be seizing every opportunity that life throws at you.
Obviously, there can be issues with communicating interest. You don’t want to be the first person to say something, whether it’s “Hey I’m into you” or “Yeah, no, I’m not feeling it”. Or, you could be an asshole and say nothing at all. Nobody likes rejection – that shit is painful and hard to deal with. But, at the same time, you need to think logically. There are approximately 7 billion people on this planet, right? But like…the solar system does not revolve around this one person. Yeah, being told “no” is one of the worst feelings. But a simple “no” from one person can open the door to dozens of other people. You just need to keep your eyes open and keep moving forward.
Of course, there comes a time when many a lesser mortal loses patience and just gives up. While I try not to have that outlook, it happens. It usually occurs after one too many ignored texts, or being told “no” when I ask to hang, more often than being told “yes”. It’s disheartening, because maybe you got a little too attached. Maybe when she said to make her something, you actually did, and you’re sad she’ll never come over to get it. Maybe you put it all out there, and she just ignored your text until three days later. When it comes down to it, you can’t force your feelings onto someone else. The only actions you have control over are your own. Maybe they were truly disinterested, and they played you a little too hard. If that’s the case, that bitch can go screw.
Maybe I’m one of those weird girls who is too blunt. One of those girls who wears her heart on her sleeve, and speaks her mind far too often to keep others comfortable. Maybe it’d just be easier to play the game, and then maybe I’d find someone worthwhile. But fuck that shit. I don’t have time to pretend to be someone I’m not. I hate waiting for someone to text me first when all I want to do is talk to them. So I’ll talk to them, and then feel like an asshole when the conversation is painfully staggered or if they ignore me. If I think a girl is beautiful, I’ll let her know. If I want to sleep with her, I’ll let her know – at a socially acceptable point. If I want to kiss someone, I’ll get their consent first, and hopefully I won’t lose my heart to their lips.
I hate the feeling I get when all evidence points to someone losing interest in me. Was I a bad kisser? Do I smell? Am I unappealing? Did I say something wrong? These questions plague me more frequently than I’d like. But I have evidence to the contrary. I have been told by many that I’m appealing, and beautiful, and sensational. I’ve been told I’m well-spoken, and hilariously funny, and that my realness is refreshing and that there should be more women like me. I take this evidence, and I look back at the questions, and I realize that I shouldn’t be thinking like this. Whether a girl has a killer smile, the most kissable lips, or the most enchanting gaze – she’s gonna play the game if you want her to or not. All I can do is advertise that I’m not down for games. I’m here for something simple, and something real. I don’t need to stress out over when it’s appropriate to text you, or whether or not I shouldn’t call you gorgeous when I think you are. I’ll be real with you, and do the same for me. In fact, if you ask, I’ll be real with you right now. It only takes 20 seconds of insane courage to accomplish something amazing.
The Lesbian Perspective 